What do proactive really mean?
Being proactive is a posture you take towards the world. It requires an individual to accept responsibility for his situation (no matter how dire) and take the initiative to make things better. Instead of letting their conditions and circumstances be the driving force of their decisions, proactive people allow their values to determine the choices they make. Proactive people act rather than being acted upon.
No one texted you? Text them first. No one invites you for a beer? Invite them instead.
The main thing is that you cannot wait for something to happen, you have to create your own life, your social circle and relationships. Even love doesn’t come automatically, you have to create it, nurture it and take action in order to maintain it.
I see that a lot of people around me are lonely. I consider myself lonely too. But i want to change it, therefore I need to take action in order to make new friends. Sitting and waiting that someone will do that for me will only make you a little bit disappointed.
In my short life I learned that if I want something I have to go for it by myself, I need to take action.
No one will ever do something for me. No magic fairy will come and give me everything. If I want something, I have to work for it with my bare hands.
This is the same in every aspect of life. Instead of sitting at home, crying in the pillow and stalking your acquaintances, watching how beautiful their life is with full of friends and love, you have to get your ass up and make YOUR life awesome.
But, but… It’s hard!
Yes, you moron, it’s hard. Nothing in life, that is worthy is easy to get.
People are passive.
We all are really passive. We wish that someone could text us, invite us, called us, we wish that everyone would do something for us, then we would not risk being rejected.
But, isn’t that a great opportunity? If everyone is waiting for any friends to appear, we can be this friend who invites them.
Don’t ever feel upset that people don’t make their first move, and always you have to do it. You will have to always be prepared to be the action maker, to be the first mover, deal with it.
However it gives you an amazing opportunity. By being proactive you make a habit, a really powerful one, a habit of creating your life and not being only a mere spectator.
Rejection is the issue here
Rejection is probably the main reason you are not doing anything with your social life. You are scared that when you try to proactively make new friends, you will be rejected. But I will tell you something. 99% of people are afraid also, and they want to make new friends too.
Unfortunately, you will have to face rejections. Many many rejections, emotions of awkwardness and sometimes emotions of shame. People are various and you can’t predict how someone will react to you.
You won’t win without failing, there is no shortcut.
Take responsibility for your life, don’t sit and wait for something to happen, Don’t wait that someone, someday will go to your home and tell you that he wants to be your friend.
If you are doing nothing and you are crying in the pillow in your room, then you are doomed to loneliness because of your whining that is getting you nowhere.
Be proactive, not reactive in building your social circle.